I’m really in quite a bad mood.

Yeah, this is like a running theme for me in the last two weeks, but believe me, I’ve still been having some great times. I think it’s just that the novelty has worn off and now I’m getting tired of dealing with the same stupid crap.

I just nuked an entire thread on my last post because it came down to some Georgian dude saying that black people need to stop being so sensitive about random strangers coming up to them and touching their hair, which comment was answered by an American dude saying “well said.”

Listen up: if you are racist, sexist, or have the reading skills of a six year old, go the fuck away. I’m tired of reading the same recycled comments about how Americans are making shit up or exaggerating or being overly sensitive or culturally insensitive or how I just don’t understand Georgia.

If I get bummed out because my black female friends are so tired of being racially and sexually harassed constantly every day everywhere they go that they no longer even want to be around Georgian men, and your response is “open your mind and try to learn about Georgia” or “please talk about something else,” then FUCK YOU.

If you’re tired of reading about cooking and gender relations then let me explain something to you: GO THE FUCK AWAY. The internet is unimaginably vast and I am but a tiny insignificant part of it, so if I’m not satisfying your needs, then feel free to just move the fuck on and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

I’m making a new zero tolerance policy. If your comment even rubs me the wrong way, it’s getting nuked. Sorry, but I’m tired of all the victim-blaming and sexism and racism and ignorance and insults and false assumptions and illiteracy. I’m tired of putting up with the obnoxious, the condescending, and the irrational. I’m tired of reading blatant lies and stupid, pointless distortions.

And to everyone who actually submits quality comments, thank you, and keep them coming, and sorry for all of this.

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13 Responses to I’m really in quite a bad mood.

  1. Sorry to hear about the flames. Is it possible that non-native speakers writing in English might genuinely mean to raise polite concerns, but – given limited vocabulary and syntax – come across more hostile than they would otherwise? It’s easier to speak in extremes in a language than you don’t know well than to use the more linguistically advanced (often) language of moderation? So “I think I would contest the point you raise here, and argue instead that perhaps…” because “You are wrong to say X because”. I know that I have a hard time conveying tone when writing – even to my father – in Italian or French, as I can’t use easy signifiers like tone of voice or gestures.

    Not defending any flaming (didn’t read the posts) but I recognize it’s something I struggle with!


  2. pasumonok says:

    I am going to be condescending, and stupid and superficial: stop! why have a public blog, if u can’t take criticism ? why let it bother u so much?
    u know how there is no space 4 public debate in georgia, right? no critical thinking classes or anything. so internet is the only place where people can express themselves. some are confused, some people don’t know english and some people are assholes. but u and not only u, but this kind of blogs in general give people place 2 discuss stuff. including stupid remarks and answers 2 those remarks.
    you want a personal blog for your friends and family? don’t allow general public to see it. blogs mean so much more here. but if you want to create a space were people share opinions, you have to be ready for the douchbags!
    i am so mad at the people that brought you here without a decent orientation. you guys need to be more prepared before coming here. and maybe some of you wouldn’t be here at all. maybe it is not a good idea to place a black woman in a community where kids touch her hair. maybe if she knew that, she would go somewhere else instead.
    hang on! you’re hating everything right now, you have to, you have to get over this. believe me, it gets better, i know it.


    • panoptical says:

      I get what you’re saying, but I don’t have the time to personally educate every single person who comments on this blog. I have to save my effort for people with open minds who are willing and able to put the time in to actually look at and understand what I am saying to them. Otherwise I’m just yelling out into the void.

      Unfortunately there are people in this world who are in such deep denial that when they read something they don’t want to hear, all they can do is hurl insults or try to change the subject. Those people are free to get their own blogs. I promise I won’t ever try to stop them from expressing their opinions on the internet. However, until they are willing to give what I have to say a fair hearing, no matter how hard it is for them, I personally don’t want to have anything to do with them. I don’t think it’s unfair to ask that if I take the time to have a conversation with someone, they take the time to actually consider what I’ve said.


      • I’m just yelling out into the void.

        That’s pretty much the definition of the Internet, though, isn’t it?


      • raughley says:

        I think you possibly misunderstood and misrepresented my approval of the comment in question on your last post.

        I was voicing my approval of David’s well argued, clearly thought-out response to your response to his more inflammatory response. I thought he made a lot of cogent points in his second comment that merited pondering. His second comment, the one on which I commented “Well said” was indeed well said. It hardly seemed like racist, sexist bullshit but more like an elaboration on his background and his viewpoints. I was actually looking forward to see how you replied to it. I’m saddened to see this post and the deletion of his comments constitutes your reply.

        I have read through many of the comments on your blog and I agree with you that most of them do seem to be full of bullshit ignorance. That said, I feel that David’s comments more recently were of a much higher and more thoughtful (and thought-provoking) quality than the trend.

        The second paragraph you’ve written just here above in your own comment seems almost to apply to yourself in some ways. I am not trying to be a dick and flame your blog (as the kids on the internet say these days [do they?]), but I think you should reread your above comment and think about it in light of your actions.

        Really the only thing that bothers me about it is that David’s comments were well-reasoned and smartly defended and I don’t think it’s unfair to ask that if David takes the time to have a conversation with you, you take the time to actually consider what he said–a courtesy you should grant if you expect to receive it.


        • panoptical says:

          I mean, maybe you and I interpreted things differently. To me, there was no reasoning whatsoever – just repetition of the same tired arguments and a few creative but vacuous non sequiturs.

          The gem, however, was this: “Most of Georgians have never seen any foreigner, let alone the one with different skin color. If I were TLG-er, knowing this, I would not overreact so terribly if someone was interested and touched my skin or hair.”

          Because the thing is, everyone understands why Georgians are so interested in touching black people. For David to act like we don’t understand why Georgians are interested in touching black people is unbelievably condescending. Curiosity about the other is not a mystery of Georgian culture, it’s a simple facet of human nature. We get it. We really, totally, absolutely get it. As I said, a lack of understanding of – or willingness to try to understand – Georgian culture is not the problem.

          The problem is that despite the explanation, there’s still no excuse for a society to systematically alienate people based on their skin color or gender or place of birth. In other words, as I said, the problem is that Georgian culture, in this case, is a big problem for a lot of non-Georgians. And David’s comment that maybe if I went and watched some folk dancing I wouldn’t find the systematic racism and sexism in Georgian culture incredibly problematic is just pointless and stupid and barely merits any kind of response.

          But what does merit response – and deletion – is the second part of what I quoted above: “…I would not overreact so terribly if someone was interested and touched my skin or hair.”

          This is dismissive and offensive and disgusting.

          David comes from a culture in which touching strangers is okay and personal space is almost nonexistent. I come from a culture in which touching strangers without consent is offensive, in which there is a long history of violence against women and people of color, and in which
          it is a reasonable response for someone who is constantly fondled and petted in public to want to stay away from people whose culture permits that sort of behavior. David absolutely refuses to understand that background and that perspective and dismisses it as an “overreaction.” Even after living in America for three years, he doesn’t even get that it is okay for someone to be offended or scared or annoyed by constant unwanted physical contact.

          What do you think I could possibly say to someone like that to make them understand such an incredibly simple concept if they don’t already? It’s not that this guy hasn’t had the opportunity to learn – he’s just consistently refused to try to see the world through the perspective of someone else.

          So I say, let somebody else deal with him. I don’t need that kind of crap on my blog.


        • raughley says:

          I’d like to continue this conversation if you’re amenable, however, I don’t have the deleted comments at my disposal and so I don’t feel I can make any further cogent points. I’m not going to press the issue or comment further, but if you want to continue the discussion, could you please send me the comments in question via facebook or some such? (I don’t wanna be throwing my email all over the internet, willy-nilly!) Thanks!


      • Victoria Wheeler says:

        Well, yet again, I think something is certainly odd that you feel the need to “personally educate every person that comments on your blog.” That’s silly! Of course you can’t educate every flamer on the internet! Moreover, you shouldn’t feel like you -have- to, because you don’t. Here is where I think the phrase that is horrid but sometimes necessary for the internet comes into play: Hatas gonna hate, bro.

        At the same time, I think that yelling and cursing about flamers in several blog entries just starts to make you look bad, and not altogether terribly different than them. It makes it seem like you are just as angry and equally judgmental of them, or if not that, it at least makes it clear that flamers can “get to you.”

        I think the “deleting things that are truly ridiculous or offensive” policy is going to be a good one. And I think you should leave it at that. Delete posts you find really offensive, or don’t respond to them if you don’t feel like it, then let it go and don’t alienate readers like me* by constantly writing about that instead of your awesome experiences! It does a disservice to the quality of your blog. But that’s my $.02, and I hope they are taken as constructive criticism.

        *Your awesome ones. It’s cool, you don’t have to tell me. I already knew. 😉


  3. pasumonok says:

    maybe it is not a good idea to place a black woman in a community where kids touch her hair—someone might read this like it is a TLG’s fault for not making a right choice. not my intention. i meant that if community is not ready for her, then they don’t deserve her. she has a right to know where she’s going and how she will be treated.


  4. Ilyk Eyaj says:

    @ Pasumonk:

    Actually most blogs have censors or regulations about what you can put in the comments section. That is a very common and a good standard practice. If the blog moderator and author doesn’t have rules then it becomes a free-for-all and there isn’t a space for intellectual discourse or dialogue. So this prevents people from hurling insults at each other online. Argument, debate, and discussion are fine as long as it doesn’t turn into a “screaming match” online with the caps lock button.

    Pasumonk, you should check out the following websites and read the guidelines, they have similar rules about not having racist, sexist, and homophobic comments. Neal is setting a standard which is used by most blog authors and moderators.

    Here are just a few blogs with rules:
    Racialicious; http://www.racialicious.com
    Angry Asian man; http://blog.angryasianman.com/
    i09; http://www.io9.com


  5. pasumonok says:

    thanks 🙂
    well, that’s one thing and deleting comments you don’t like is another thing.
    i don’t have anyone screaming at me in my blog, so maybe i just don’t have that problem. so i have no rules. people can sat up their blogs anyway they want, i like chaos and anarchy and freedom of speech, at least on my blog.
    neal has already said he would have rules, but i think that some people’s comments are bothering him too much. no matter what you write, some asshole’s gonna write that kind of response and if you want to have a place for discussions, well, you have to be ready that some discussions will be stupid.
    like, i know that some of my friends’ friends (this is still Georgia) will start a big gossip about me, because of the stuff that i write. but i don’t care anymore, because when you want to say something, to make a stand, you have to develop certain immunity.


  6. geoskeptic says:

    The best weapon against ignorant idiots is sarcasm and ignore. That’s what I’ve learnt.

    Unless of course you want to start censoring your blog, wasting time on comments moderation, engage in verbal wars with jerks who unlike you actually enjoy that, go around in bad mood every day and write ultra negative posts like this instead of using your time more productively providing us with those entertaining, informative and interesting posts we’ve been spoiled with.

    Douchebags have and will always be there. You can’t just shoo them by just telling them not to post here and to go and f*ck themselves instead.


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